fhuck

i am feeling so low right now. i think this 'low' thing is passing around recently and apparently i got it. i am always told every mother will always love her kids equally as they are of her blood. Somehow, i feel it is impossible. How can you know you love this person equally as the other when there is no mathematics involved or scientific facts to prove it is equal.

even i, myself, can never treat 2 people with equal treatment when i claim their status are my best friends.

i know i know, he is overseas, you miss him dearly but sometimes the way you treat me and him can be so obvious sometimes and i have to tell you, it hurts man. . you know i hate that. i don t find how you can always find my lil weak points and faults to tell on and when you asked me where my brother have done wrong in, i can t even name one .

i know you love me in a certain manner, but you sometimes treating me like a dumbass. i don t see how i can prove myself wrong. i know i was never good in studying, never good in this and that and almost caused your death last year during my O level which you didn t for my brother cause he is smart enough.

sometimes my 'hard' is never hard enough for you.

and i can t stand the way you always compare me and your husband having the same qualities. it is always 'we' and you can go on and on about us. humans make mistake, it is not as if i want to lose my card and shoe on purpose. it really pains me to as sentimental value not finanicial issue. why is it you can t scold me instead of just telling it behind my back to your beloved dam son.

for once, can you listen to my opinions?
you son stay in australia and your daughter stays in singapore, in the same house as you. and you ask your son if you should change the heater in the common toilet and how he feels about the heater

hello mummy, your daughter is at home bathing in the common toilet everyday while your son haven t bath there for 6 months.
argh.

what is wrong with buying one more extra box of donuts for my friends when your buying it for nana they all? we can buy it all at one shot, it is not as if he is bringing a lot of luggage home. i wonder deep down if you ever complaint in your heart that he used to buy one box just for his gf and she is not even blood. the reason you stated for not buying for my friends.

i think when we don t see each other often, we will apparently like each other more.
oh fishit.
there are other people out there who are fhucking worse than me. what is there to be low about? god. i think i am just feeling fhucking insecure now.

i do hope i am feeling paranoid now. But it always happen and in the end, leaving me to be pissed and then going into one corner being quiet. omg, this is such an emotional post. i can t help it la. argh.

this is such a childish post.
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played badminton with buddy and brandon but we coudln t play as well as before due to a windy day today and something embarrassing ( look i spell it right! ) happened to buddy which made brandon and i laughed so hard. I don t want to post it. hahaha, if she don t even want to post it on her blog, i think i shoudln t too.

wanted to watch bridge to tabijdhsjkfh ( can t spell it ) but coudln t. so in the end, we watched the count of monte cristo. it is really a good show. you guys should watch it . it is all about this guy who is all out to seek revenge.

later went to have dinner with brandonbuddyian.
it was so freakin smelly halfway as this uncle was smoking weed after weed. i had a bad headache after that. almost vomited. i came home and scrubbed my body like crazy.

today, my father is in a bad mood because he lost his car keys.

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hey buddy!
i am gonna miss you when your in malaysia! please take care while your climbing the mountain okay! don t be so keh kiang and later hurt or embarrass yourself in the end! hahaha, can t wait to see you soon! :D